A New Direction

by Jon Corbin

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    4 panel cardboard folder, with album credits. Jon Corbin's 2016 album about self-acceptance and forgiveness. Includes bonus track "Life, Love, Learning" featuring Shad and Rel McCoy.

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1.
A New Direction for The Runaway I’m trying to move on again Through the hard times find that opening Chart a new path that’s free of my own wrath And find the way to hope again ‘Cause the way that I treat myself does not coincide with who I know me to be And this ain’t unique to me; I know people that stumble frequently Treat myself like the least of these I’ve got strength but I live like I’m weak in the knees Can’t live in this feast of thieves But the prospect of change is bleak, you see And there’s people that are worse than me I refuse a mere glance that’s cursory I wanna expand ‘til I burst the beat and Take the grown path out of this nursery
2.
The Prayer of a Restless Soul I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed, the scriptures don’t land Am I doing something wrong with this gold in my hand? Am I chasing the wind? Am I just giving in to doubt and fear? Lord here… Work a miracle in my heart, sweet erosion They say living is simple, I cause commotion Unassuming, my fear is looming (that) I’m not worth much and this doubt is consuming But to my loved ones it only hurts, see Since I claim the economy of mercy My wife says, “Jon you’re easy to love Don’t give in to the lies of your past it trips you up” So am I full of life, or am I lifeless? Out of my head just to Manafest a Crisis It’s the good, it’s the bad, it’s the in-between It’s my wounds, it’s my scabs, it’s my silly dreams Deep down I believe in my ability All things to all, I can move with agility (But) This restlessness is killing me Only peace with myself gets me really free Even when the well runs dry And broken wings can’t fly I set my sights too high Life is wonderful Even when I can’t go on And my dreams are dead and gone There will be a brand new song Life is wonderful Well, what about when it's not When life is like a movie and it's borrowed the plot From a tragedy, tragically it's all that we got So many of my fam in impossible spots This one goes to a brother hopeless So many gifts but struggles with focus This one goes to a brother in pain Sleepless nights calling on the Lord's name This one goes to a sister at home Trying to raise a family all on her own This one goes to a sister in the dark Dealing with broken men and a broken heart Let this song be a simple refrain I wish I knew the things I could change My heart hurts ‘cause I feel your pain So I hit my knees again (Lord) We’re just trying to find faith I wanna know you more than circumstance (I’m) Still learning to trust in Your grace In my restlessness I will still advance Even when the seeds won’t grow I’m on the lonely road And the scars will always show Life is wonderful Even when I can’t go on And my dreams are dead and gone There will be a brand new song Life is wonderful Life can bring you a twisted path Baby, you better work it out Attitude's what it's all about, so when you fall in doubt And insecurities come crawling out, listen I've lived through my darkest clouds I’ve prayed when my heart is down And even through this hardship now I still want to make this sound Life is.... Wonderful, amazing Hands made for praising Please lift ‘em high, recognize we need saving In the midst of my mess I am making progress I guess I’ll do my best and keep pressing on Even when the well runs dry And broken wings can’t fly Doesn’t mean I cannot try Life is wonderful Even when I can’t go on And my dreams are dead and gone There will be a brand new song Life is wonderful Even when the seeds won’t grow I’m on the lonely road And the scars will always show Life is wonderful Even when I can’t go on And my dreams are dead and gone There will be a brand new song Life is wonderful
3.
Without You [Jon] I’m stuck on a seesaw - back and forth Bouncing off the walls like a racquet sport Fighting vice like Macklemore Refusing to trust what you have in store You adopted me into sonship I just wanna run when your son slips Enticed by a poisonous tongue drip Lies ‘til unworthy of love I’m convinced But there isn’t one sin that your son missed Of Your love I wanna be convinced Stability is difficult to find Seeking God Is a new way to grind I don't know who you think Jon tries to be Deep inside I'm wrestling with anxiety I'm tired of this loneliness, kind of blue My heart cries out, “Let me find You!” It's true, I can't do this without you Without You - I don’t know where I’d be Without You - my blind eyes couldn’t see Without You - I’d have nowhere to go Without You - I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know [Eternia] I been a zombie for days All the things I said and did is a haze I know I’m lost without you, God, now I'm caught in a maze Amazing grace I test it every time I lose faith Chasing after my own ways To my desires I cave Saving face Prayin’ like I'm in the right place - and yet I'm not Foolin’ family and I turn from your face I got a lot [of] grim stories, how you brought me thru safe - and yet I drop Right back, didn't learn from mistakes [And] in myself I'm a coward, not brave [If] I rely on my strength I am destined to be enslaved You say: “Abide in me, brokenhearted, weeping and plagued I will renew your strength, you will run and not faint” Without You I could see the end of my days Clear as day Weeping in the web that I made Oh weak heart, have faith, He is faithful to save And that's the truth Shed my skin I'm lost in my sin without you [ILL Seer] My mind strays to the time I tried to walk away; what with all the self-reliant talk today. Had my health, so defiant push the dock away. Jumped the son-ship for one hip and rocking. Hey. I was younger, see Hunger’s like a Mocking Jay; End of Game what I brung rot - decays, then again, when I sung your praise, I could hip-hop for days. Dismayed, why’d I press stop - delay? Guess I thought I’d impress with what I got displayed. But whom I bluffing? I got nothing, if it’s not your grace. I mean, I could not even respirate. Please, why’d I ever test my fate? When I press in, I feel blessed and great, when I caress hate I feel depressed and grey. So I need you, I can’t proceed … Without You.
4.
Confessions of a Mixed (Up) Kid Yes, yes, we all know the narrative What’s wrong bro? Ferguson’s scaring ya? Then the world reacts - all too embarrassing? Eyes all around, you can feel them staring in? Well that’s what I’m on right now Just watch me walk around in my small town Pretty, but pretty white It’s silly, I still fright That they’ll only see me as black when I mostly feel white I’m a mixed-up kid In a self-assigned, much maligned suburban bid But focus on aesthetics will only leave me indebted More like in chains on a slavery refrain Do I fit in because I’m paper bag vetted? Do you like me because your black appetite is whetted through Much Music and MTV? Full of your expectations? I am empty, see? My cultural shorthand is too innate to express The attempt only puts my mind in duress Yes, this messed up psychology bothers me and possibly hinders my movements on every shopping spree I remember when I first heard Lawrence Hill Connect me with young brothers up in Forest Hill I didn't start from the bottom but I knew I had a problem My rolling stone papa treated me as forgotten My high school years down in Lorne Park Intelligent kid, I am going far But the black side of town was the foreign part And you know I was judged well before the start But never mind the black folks I just love the black jokes! Especially playing stereotypes Ham it up for my friends, it's embarrassing right? Until I got stopped one embarrassing night 5-0, drive slow wasn't steering me right Already backing down not preparing to fight I knew it wasn't racial but the scariest sight was Even though I was wrong I could swear I was right! Maybe there isn't a question here Maybe you just need to give an invitation to speak And trust me, if it’s an invitation I trust I will bust Because of too many years of The Question You know the question: "Jon, Where Are You From?" But you never accept ‘Canada’ as the answer It's not a micro-aggression for me Because it tears open this box of memories Blowing up my past sending shrapnel into my present reality Your answer to this question is, "My dad is from Guyana" My answer is much more complex It's the generations of Swiss & German settlements Years of farming, keeping the peace & serving The Lord My mom is not merely white, just as my dad is not merely black And oh the doors you open when you fish for my non-Canadian heritage You just remind me of the broken father who didn't how to love Who passed down no cultural inheritance Giving me nothing but a chest tightening fear every time I have to interact with a black person See I'm a mixed up kid A mixed up kid with a white family who accepts me Who give me a secure sense of self when I'm with them So it's okay if you see black Just keep the whole picture intact And if you don't see black or you lack tact? Well, we've got much more to discuss than that. It’s still a fight I’m still wrestling wrong and right Lord, can you help me be me? And even when it’s not okay, all I know is I can’t run away Lord I’ma try and be me
5.
Maybe You Could Find Me (It’s Alright) I’m sitting in the kitchen, you said ‘Close your eyes, son’ Thought to myself, ‘Is this surprise fun? Another ticket to a ballgame? Another chance to spend time all day?’ My best memories I remember the least Your depression hit, then the time decreased Then your lawyer said that the time would cease Man, so hard to find peace Thought I saw you in a restaurant the other day You were sitting in a booth just across the way Thought I saw your new wife and your new life What about your kids left behind? Two strikes… Paused for a moment, not sure what to do Stayed in my seat, broke bread with my crew It’s alright… It’s alright.... but I sing… Maybe you could find me Maybe you could find me, Father Father God, I find it odd to call you Father God When I hear the father talk, I just balk I could easily blame it on a father flawed Between us there’s a block, I want it gone I’m sitting in the minivan, the park of my youth 19 years finally hearing ‘your’ truth Staring out the window in silence Didn’t have much else but silence Brain overdrive, opposite of mindless This conversation wasn’t timeless In fact, too many facts Couldn’t keep it intact, my mind collapsed And now I know the flaws in my legacy And why my Grandpa won’t remember me I know about the lies that were said to me And how I’d spend years just getting free Christ is healing me, this I can boast The garbage in my life I’m just trying to compost It’s alright… It’s alright.... still I sing… Maybe you could find me Maybe you could find me father The logic is foolish, I can’t understand If he didn’t love me then no one can? That doesn’t mean there’s no love at all I’m tired of these lies, Lord break down these walls I had a dream I was chasing you - gain way! You were demonstrating why you’re called The Runaway “Run, run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me I’m just your old man!” I’m chasing you through the grocery store Every aisle an obstacle course Then I gave up and sat on the floor Figured that you don’t want me ‘round no more I had a second dream though it was worse You arrived at my door in a hearse Opened up the casket, silent and still There was no body just your Will The driver said this is all that he can give The paper said, ‘I love you son, now just live’ It’s alright… I’m thinking that it’s alright I ain’t perfect, but then again who is? All I know is I’m gonna raise good kids Fatherhood doesn’t make me nervous Fatherhood doesn’t make me nervous! Feels like I was born for this service And I guess I’ll thank God for that Feel predestined to break that trap Watch me sacrifice money for the kids Watch me honour God in the way that I live Watch me work out my priorities Watch me run away from the majority Watch me demonstrate a grown man working Watch me come back for the kids who are hurting That’s where you’ll find me...
6.
you will be called by a new name... “But you, (Jon), my servant, whom I have chosen, my friend. I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:8­10 NIV) You will be called by a new name. (A name) that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand... No longer will they call you Deserted...for the Lord will take delight in you… (Isaiah 62:2­-5 NIV) Because GOD delights in you, your land will be like a wedding celebration. For as a young man is happy in his bride, so your God is happy with you. (Isaiah 62:4-5 MSG)
7.
A New Direction for Jon Corbin I remember the way it was Used to write rhymes just because Then I didn't wanna rhyme no more Arbitrarily closed the door ‘Cause I thought I had to be a pro I was young and I didn't know Never needed a great applause (Just) Rhyme a few words and pray to God A new direction! When I’m playing, I feel so free Feels like I can just be me People say it’s my element I know it’s a gift that’s heaven sent Oh, I knew there would come a day When I wouldn’t be The Runaway God will give me a brand new song Give me the freedom to just be Jon It’s time to move, grow, learn these lessons Changing course for a new direction It’s time to move, grow, learn these lessons We got a view brand new so everybody don’t stop! Consider this a manifesto For the days it was hard to let go Uncertain choice, ‘What’s the best road? Fight the current or go with the flow?’ Here I am - running away from The Runaway The name doesn't suit no more I've got a new pursuit for sure A family to raise and a God to praise With all of my talents Seems like a beautiful challenge So now the grind is finding ways to define How to serve my God with my rhymes But first, let me dance with my seeds Let me teach them how to believe How to deal with pain. Let’s start a legacy! The future’s bright ahead of me I’m saying, don't stop!! It’s time to move, grow, learn these lessons Changing course for a new direction It’s time to move, grow, learn these lessons We got a view brand new so everybody don’t stop!
8.
Life of Love [Orijin] What's the point if I jot flows and rock shows, mic in my hand If I don't show love and hold up the highest command: Love your neighbour every second, but first... love your God. Imagine if your heart might have just one more throb And you're the last to know the truth about this life's sole cause You probably wouldn't hesitate or fight or pause To be obedient and share God's love with people needing it Yet we've been lenient in conveying this key ingredient To the recipe of life How could I fail to live a life of love but claim my destiny's in Christ? It definitely isn't right. So to everyone who's ever seen the light, Let's see to it that we're living sacrificial I'm not just talking giving back a fistful in collection plates But giving of yourself in service for heaven's sake Step in faith, it's simple as lending a listening ear Instead of gawking at the sin of our peers Or try feeding the hungry instead of feeding greed He decrees we serve Him by serving the least of these I could do a song, lead a long discussion On how the world's broken, people are lost, and we should long to love them But if you faithfully lead a life that beams the light of Jesus Christ Then people, you don't need to write a song Or a book, or an academic paper You could say a lot more through a sacrificial favour About the love, mercy, and compassion of our Saviour See, all you need to put love into practice... is a neighbour [Brett Klassen] Don't we want affection and romance to slow dance? One person to see the movements the soul has So hands hold more than only one thought we can't pronounce These rent payments have meant pain and empathy Cause the mundane, slow flames have emptied me A fire within I'm supposed to spread gently Generally it’s these simple acts that are getting me confused… One morning I woke up put my feet on the floor and my socks were soaked up water in the bedroom and I didn't know what caused it I pause for thoughts, like, "Imma need a mop quick!" The neighbour and lent us hers. Awesome. As I got it her and her kids came over we talked with them They said someone on the 15th floor had gotten their hands on the fire hose and it travelled to our apartments I finished up my roommate had breakfast started Neighbours had some too when we offered Now I could write about the excitement of a partner The inside jokes and hopes to grow stronger But my confusion lies in something that goes farther ‘Cause breakups and divorce can't even harm your life of love... which is more natural yet much harder [Jon Corbin] They were supposed to drive to the East Coast The winding roads ahead seemed too much to anticipate They hadn’t even left the city and it already felt likes ages... Just to get to the pharmacy Praying fervently that he wouldn’t blow up again His abuse was taking a toll Especially when he lost it public Could it be more embarrassing? Could it reveal any more of their weaknesses? His grumbling a dark cloud moving from the car to the store then to the street corner for a smoke On the verge of explosion People passing by trying not look but taking it all in with eager ears No one really there to help He was yelling… Yelling, about her losing 10 dollars The wounds he was creating much greater than one piece of paper and ink His accusing tone tearing across the silence of the parking lot as easily as it tore into her spirit With a flick of the cigarette he was back in the store to continue his terrorizing His victim remained in the car - numb and embarrassed She didn't even notice the man parked beside her in a minivan travelling with three quiet passengers who didn't mind that their driver didn't leave right away They sat there patiently while the driver surveyed the scene She didn't notice him, except as a further point of embarrassment But as her head turned slowly, she saw him standing at her with window, hands holding a 10 dollar bill “Here,” he said. “Maybe this will get him to shut up.” She said nothing, but her hands moved slowly to take the bill The man spoke quietly, "He's not mad about the money. There's something much deeper going on." She breathed deeply, "I know." “Well, here you go ma’am. Have a good trip,” and the man turned and headed back to the minivan The exchange happened so fast that the woman couldn't take it all in She was trying to take a look at who had arrived by her side…a tall man with a hooded sweater… afro... but it was too late. Her eyes were welling with tears “Thank you,” she managed to choke out, in between gasps for breath “God bless you,” the man said. Then he drove away.
9.
Ain’t It Funny… (The Love Song) What does love look like? To me it's the look on her face And that is the place to start One glance is a window inside her heart Her love won't depart Man, she loves through deep scars So please remember her name The one God said you can trust with your pain The pain ran deep but our union is stealth Our love has given me emotional wealth A chain-link fence of emotional health That only pushes me to love myself Help me see what she sees ‘Cause she thinks I should be free Her heart loves so sweetly It's no cliché she completes me Ain't it funny how love... Ain't it funny how love can change your vision Curious, I'm drawn to a myriad of frozen faces The war is on, love versus paper chases Haste is the seed that leads me to push away the needy and the greedy out of reach A hull breach is triggered by silent stares scream(ing) for solace, space and safety Faintly hear the cry for company Pause and realize this is why God created me A lonely one comes from the cold, rests for a time, waiting behind the yellow line I speculate with God’s eyes It's right there in front of me - Jewels in a labourers disguise Help me see what He sees ‘Cause He thinks we should be free His heart loves so deeply I want to dive in the deep sea Ain't it funny how love... Ain't it funny how love can change your vision
10.
Hope (Again) 03:44
Hope (Again) As I look back over these 32 years It's crazy how I got here I can steer clear of fears that I'll be misunderstood ‘Cause God loves me and that's good So if you examine my plan, man, I can't really call it Father was a sex fiend, Gramps an alcoholic Even worse pain in my past it’s hard to face it Only way that I could mess it up is to be complacent Sometimes I wish I had a better grip I wish I didn't continually find ways to trip I thought that I might be further along But a little bit of healing is worth a new song I count my blessings and then I lose track It's time to kill perceptions and instead choose fact And maybe love for self could be something intact Maybe God's the only one that can bring it back That’s hope... Hope Hopefully I kept my rhymes dope Inspired a few quotes and blessed a few folks ‘Cause I gotta a couple words for you if you lose hope I’ve lost my grip a few times [and] need a new rope I'm in a new tennis match preparing to serve Starting at Love, the movement and the word When the movement hits we only go up I need the Word to hit to feel His Love These are no longer be cliches Stakes are even higher with me these days About to start up a whole ‘nother chapter Like the Huxtables - household of laughter Watch the adventures we get after My fam’s gonna bring praise to the Master Gotta testify past the disaster And remember the words of my pastor... Hope

about

A New Direction is a new full length album by Jon Corbin, the Canadian hip hop artist formerly known as the Runaway. This album covers a significant journey of healing, self-discovery and forgiveness in Corbin's life. Over 15 years in the music industry, Jon has worn many hats. Radio host, promoter, writer, poet and band leader are all familiar titles in his fulfilling career.

A New Direction, his 7th release, chronicles the journey that led to the name change. The 10-track album deals with themes of depression, low self-esteem, ethnic identity, absentee fathers, faith, forgiveness and putting love into practice. Corbin weaves together an eclectic narrative with honesty, vulnerability and care. In doing so, he reflects his values as a family man, community leader and social justice advocate.

A New Direction features a musical diversity that is well known to Canadian hip-hop. Moving fluidly between sample and live instrumentation, A New Direction also seamlessly integrates traditional and experimental percussion. The musical contributions are just as diverse, demonstrating Corbin’s wide span of relationships. Features include Eternia, Relic, ILL Seer, folk artist Jeremy Moyer, and Caroline Brooks of the Good Lovelies.

credits

released May 10, 2016

Executive Producer: Jon Corbin
All songs mixed by Jon Corbin (except Without You, Life of Love and Hope mixed by Relic for Gamma Delta Productions)
Mixing consultation & general Yoda presence from Drew Brown
Mastered by SD at Sound Disciple Studio
Artwork by Jermaine Wall for Cabinet Creative

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Jon Corbin Milton, Ontario

Jon Corbin (fka The Runaway) is a Canadian hip-hop & spoken word artist with lyrical themes of faith, love, family, social justice and personal growth. Jon has spent more than a decade performing on stages big and small, providing a dynamic show that represents the basic tenets of hip-hop: peace, love, unity and having fun! ... more

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